Girl, Are You Feeling Unmovatived?

September 8th, 2023

By: Nila Jones-Burnett

My journey through college has been the greatest journey of my life. I've gained new experiences, taken on new responsibilities, and challenged myself during these past 2 years. I've also endured losses, learned significant lessons, and said goodbye to some friends. These are all typical adulting experiences. In the past 2 years, I've come to terms with the woman I am becoming. I've gotten better at accepting both people and things for what they are. It's entirely up to me whether I choose to keep something in my life. Nothing can stop me from completing my journey. I am strong, intelligent, and fearless.

Since I can remember, I've always kept myself involved and busy. Besides doing well in school, I participated in various extracurricular activities as a child. There was a point in my life where I was waking up for school at 6 a.m., heading to work or practice at 3 p.m., going to rehearsal at 6, and not returning home until 10 or 11 p.m. These days were lengthy and busy, especially because I had hours of homework to complete each night. I maintained this lifestyle for a while, but it all came to a stop when the COVID-19 pandemic hit.

I had no idea what to do when the pandemic hit. I'd never had absolutely nothing to do in my entire life. I longed for the sensation of being busy. So, in the initial weeks of this new normal, I experienced mixed emotions. It was almost like I liked not busy but also HATED IT. I'd like to mention that, about 2 weeks in I had become accustomed to my new routine and became lazy. I was so unmotivated to do anything productive. When school started up again, I completely gave up trying to go above and beyond in school. Instead of completing additional courses (that would have looked great on my college application), I just went to work, full-time, my entire senior year of high school. While these courses would have looked fantastic on my college application, I didn't need these classes to graduate. I only completed the tasks that were necessary, nothing more. This new laziness caused me to dig myself into a hole.

When I began college, I came in with an open and ready-to-learn mindset, but the bullshitter plague soon took hold of me. I hated going to class and found any excuse to skip it. I was very bored with my classes; they were all repeats of courses that I had taken in high school. But there was a brand new distraction... I would almost say a motivation: freedom. I had the freedom to go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whoever I wanted. There are no parents to guide me and keep me on track. This new freedom, combined with bullshitting classes, made me miss out on a lot of on-campus opportunities. I was either sleeping until 2 o'clock in the afternoon or doing anything fun. While I was getting my fun college experience, I was not getting my full college experience. There was no balance in my day-to-day life. So, in the second semester of freshman year, I vowed to get more involved and actually pay more attention in my classes. Somehow, by the grace of God, I managed to make the dean's list my first semester., I knew that my work ethic was not up to par. I wanted to be locked in with school and truly obtain all the knowledge that I am paying $30,000+ for.

The second semester started great. I had an awesome schedule and supportive friends. This shift in lifestyle was not easy, but it was definitely manageable. I remember a teacher I had years ago telling me that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. So, for 21 days, I followed a strict routine. Soon after that, things seemed to just fall into place. I was more strict about going to class and being attentive. I still made sure to have a social life as well, but I just had to understand that I did not have to do something fun every single day. So I limited myself and surrounded myself by people who were also motivated to grow and learn. This shift was what I needed to find my happiness.

So, in conclusion, I want to remind you all that everything you do should make you happy. Life is too short to not be happy. Yes, we all have responsibilities, but we also need to strike a balance between the things we have to do and the things we want to do. Taking care of yourself is crucial because if you don't, how can you take care of others?

It is okay to have bad days, to be angry, and to feel lost, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are people who care about you, who love you, and who are there to support you. So, take a deep breath, take a step back, and remember that it is okay to not have everything figured out. It’s the little things that make the biggest impact.

Nila Jones-Burnett